Skin and Bones Fetish
by Sarali
Summary: Shikamaru might be a genius, that didn't mean he understood the opposite sex and thier determination to remain as skin and bones. And he was being well meaning and all......


**Rating:** T

**Pairing:** Well i suppose this would be a Shika/Ino

**Warnings:** A bit of OOCness, i suppose, or it just might be me!

**Disclaimer:** Naruto doesn't belong to me sadly

**A/N:** Another Shika/Ino, i seem to be stuck in this pairing don't you think, i think might submit a Gaa/Naru fic next, what do you think__

_**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Skin and Bones fetish**_

"Just a water for me obaa-chan."

_That was it? That was all Ino was gonna have? She was already stick-thin did she want to become even skinnier?_

He really couldn't understand girls and their skinny fetish, what was wrong with some muscles and fat here and there anyway? After all, the guys did spend a lot of their time hardening their muscles, so why couldn't girls spend their time making their bodies soft and comfy? He really couldn't get it.

He might be the genius of the village and the main strategist to the current hokage and an Anbu captain, and for the record one of Ino's oldest best friends, but he just couldn't get her determination to remain as skin and bones, he just couldn't! This topic was so annoyingly troublesome.

"Oi Ino. Why are you ordering only water?"

Why he asked that he wasn't sure. All he knew was that one minute he was contemplating on the very same topic and the next minute the stupid question had just popped out of his mouth. And of course it didn't go without notice for him that Chouji had slowed his chewing, which probably meant he was nervous and waiting for Ino to blow up, which she usually did if any one dared question her on her diet. Troublesome girl and all he did was care for her.

He waited with baited breath for her to start screaming about how men were utter pigs and they were all chauvinists and that they wouldn't understand women, what not. He could actually recite Ino's whole dramatic speech by heart by now; god knows how many times they had had this argument. And he still didn't understand. He didn't think he would, ever! Women, why were they so troublesome?

"Shika, may I point out that you are a fucking asshole of a guy." Ino told him with an almost frighteningly serene look on her face.

_Eh? What does him being an asshole of a guy have to do with why she ordered only a glass of water?_

"So?"

_OK, so why did he have to ask that? Why was he stupidly challenging Ino while he should actually be shoving his foot deep into his mouth? Errrr... Good question!_

"So, you wouldn't understand." Ino told him loftily while elegantly shrugging her shoulders.

_Yup. He didn't understand women alright, and their fetish for remaining as bones._

"Ino you look just fine, why don't you eat just a bit?"

To anyone but himself he actually sounded lazy, bored and uncaring, thank god for that, but inside a voice in his head was screaming 'Shove it! Shove it!' continuously like an annoying mantra which he really should follow but he really was an idiot anyway.

"I don't look fine, I have gained one kilogram and it's all you pigs fault! How could you? And I was back at my right size anyway."

"Hey, you looked perfectly healthy to me, don't blame us for caring, you atleast have some meat on you right now thanks to us!"

Chouji was giving him a look that clearly pleaded a very big shut up, but he was too far in it to go back; which in a way was very unusual of him, because he was never far in anything. He always knew when to shut up and when to talk and what to say, but with Ino it seemed as if his mouth had a mind of its own. _Damn his mouth for opening! _Troublesome, this was going to be so troublesome.

"Are you saying I don't look good right now?"

Ino looked hurt. _Shit!_

"No I am saying you have some meat on you!"

"You are calling me fat? So I am fat? Then I should be going on this diet!"

Ino looked murderous. _Shit! Double shit! Jeez how do women change from one mood to the other so quickly, slow down people, let the men catch up? Eh? Shut up you idiot!_

"No, no, no! I am saying you looked beautiful the way you are now, and that you would become skinny again if you go on this diet. You are already stick-thin, if you go on this diet you will be only skin and bones."

_OK, you are stupid, how about just killing yourself now? That would atleast save you the embarrassment of being killed by a woman. You really should have choked yourself with your foot a long time ago! _

Ino had a tortured look on her face, which actually did make him feel guilty. But he was wary of that look, that look could only mean that she would either start to cry and sob (meaning people would look at Chouji and him weird, which meant that Chouji would leave him to shovel Ino's emotional shit alone with a dirty look and that he would miss his meal which would earn him another dirty look from his old friend. Not fun) or Ino would start throwing a tantrum so vicious that they would be eventually thrown out of the bar (meaning Ino would still continue to rampage him, Chouji would still leave him to shovel Ino's emotional shit with a dirty look and he would still miss his meal which would earn him another venomous look) He really was a fool after all. Troublesome women, the whole lot of them.

"So you are saying that I am ugly right now, are you saying that all my hard work, all my starvings is just going to waste?"

The volume of her voice was going up slowly with each word bringing it up by an octave until it was an angry high pitched squeak. He really was an idiot, the look Chouji had fixed him with clearly said that he was going to murder Shikamaru when he got the chance, troublesome but he deserved it.

"Yes."

_IDIOT! You are an idiot! Why did you have to go and say that?_

Yup, he was dead after all. He sighed waiting for Ino to blow up. She was not crying that meant that she was going to destroy the whole shop while rampaging him, and then they were gonna get kicked out of the shop with an empty stomach, and Chouji is gonna leave him alone to deal with Ino after shooting him two dirty looks, one for making Ino pissed and the other for getting him kicked out with them as well, so troublesome.

Yup, life was great, he was an idiot and some things never change. This being one of them, already Chouji was shooting him one of his dirty looks.

Time to go out then, troublesome, so troublesome, women! The whole lot of them, always so troublesome!


End file.
